julystorms:

amoying:

strawberro:

strawberro:

strawberro:

owlsegg:

the-ackerman-queen:

strawberro:

LOOK WHAT MY CHEM TEACHER PUT ON MY TEST

Suuuuuuure. 

NO TEACHER WRITES LIKE THAt


THIS IS MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER NOW STOP CALLING BS 




hes showing this post to all his classes now

tell your chem teacher to change his theme

It’S BACK

julystorms:

amoying:

strawberro:

strawberro:

strawberro:

owlsegg:

the-ackerman-queen:

strawberro:

LOOK WHAT MY CHEM TEACHER PUT ON MY TEST

Suuuuuuure. 

NO TEACHER WRITES LIKE THAt

THIS IS MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER NOW STOP CALLING BS 

hes showing this post to all his classes now

tell your chem teacher to change his theme

It’S BACK


meatloves:

the cucumber saga


victoriatakanashi:

bettydays:

I have a story.

So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake. 

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When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”

And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”

He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.

All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”

but did your sister like the cake

(Source: toocooltobehipster)


(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)
Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”
Gay Man: “Excuse me?”
Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”
Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”
Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”
(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)
Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”
(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)
Owner: “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”
Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”
Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.”
(The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

kingloptr:

fruitappreciation:

omg apparently artificial banana flavoring is based on the gros michel banana which was wiped out by a banana plague in the 50s and the banana we eat today is a totally different thing called the cavendish and thats why banana candy doesnt taste like bananas do you know how lied to i feel. like there was a fucking banana apocalypse and no one told me about it until now

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yungtapatio:

Actors revisit their famous movie roles

(Source: ed-pool)


sharkchunks:

hellsquidsintl:

There was, of course, an increase in heart attacks and traffic accidents as people panicked trying to escape the ghost deer.

A significant decline in dementors as well.

sharkchunks:

hellsquidsintl:

There was, of course, an increase in heart attacks and traffic accidents as people panicked trying to escape the ghost deer.

A significant decline in dementors as well.

(Source: grindlebone)


atribecalledgoodbreed:

When you saw this on Saturday you knew shit was about to go down on Disney.

atribecalledgoodbreed:

When you saw this on Saturday you knew shit was about to go down on Disney.

(Source: ramenjesus)


shubbabang:

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this was a lot funnier at 3 am


trust-me-im-satan:

when people start getting close to your friends

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